Every Victim, Every Time

Anyone who knows me knows that this past week was the Every Victim, Every Time Conference. The conference that is only 2 days, but over the course of the past week I have managed to average about 3-4 hours of sleep a night! Late nights, early mornings, and incredibly long days but all to offer quality training and education to law enforcement and those that deal with victims of crime all over the state of Texas. My week started out with working on Sunday...all day long...as it always does. Monday we were setting everything up and then took two of our keynote speakers out to dinner. Tuesday morning was super early, I don't know that I got much sleep thinking about everything that I had to do the next day but I made it through the first day just fine. We had our first every Legacy Dinner that evening, to honor the legacy of a victim  and Polly Klaas - her father was one of our keynote speakers at the conference and he told her story that evening. The dinner was a success, we learned a lot of things to keep in mind for next year, but overall it was well received and I think will continue to be a huge success. Wednesday was the final day of the conference and it was all great. I am humbled to work with such amazing people and know that we do a great job by the outpouring of support that we get over the course of the 2-day conference.

On Monday night I was asked a very interesting question, it's something that I have never been asked and honestly have never even thought of before. At dinner, one of the speakers asked me if I have ever asked Jason if he would survive "that gunfight?" I don't think I could have ever prepared myself for that. Jason and I have never talked about anything like that, ever. I guess it's just understood, you know. I understand, especially now that he's back on nights, that it means so much more to put on that bulletproof vest every night before work. He understands how much it means too, and how much more careful he must be; not just for him or for me, but for Hudson. Do I worry each night that he's at work, oh you bet your bottom dollar I do, but I also know that it's what Jason was born to do. I knew it about him when we first met, I actually think it's part of what I was first attracted to about Jason. He's a good officer, and not just for the obvious reasons, but for the reasons that no one gets to see. Yes he knows how to shoot, and write a ticket and execute a warrant and so forth, but he's also a people person - a social butterfly if you will. He enjoys getting out and doing things in the community and letting people see the good side of an officer. He can't walk into a room and not go up and talk to everyone in the room. I am pretty sure he will run for some elected office some day...it's just in his nature. However, I remember one time Jason talking about how everyone hates police officers but loves a fire fighter - "they're everyone's hero" he said, I simply turned to him and said "you're my hero" and I won't let him ever forget that for I had engraved inside his wedding band. You see, it takes a great man to be able to make that decision to want to put on that vest and take a bullet for a stranger. Jason is my hero, and I'm so proud that Hudson will have such an amazing man to look up to as he grows up. Jason asked me the other night what I would do if Hudson came home and said he wanted to be a cop, and I simply smiled. I smiled because if that is what Hudson so chooses to do, then I will know that he will have his father and uncle to look up to and that makes me so proud.  So to go back to the original question, "that gunfire," well, I know that my husband has the training that he needs to survive anything and that's all the answer I need! I know that Jason is doing what he loves, and God forbid that something ever did happen, I have peace of mind knowing that Jason will stand proudly and protect - just what he has been trained to do.

People ask me all the time what it's like to be married to a cop. I get the typical "do you get out of tickets all the time?" or "do you get to do whatever you want and get away with it?" The answer is no, I don't bend those rules; I guess there have been a couple of times that I might have had a lead foot and might have gotten away with it, but it's been about 3 years since that happened and I got a very stern talking to. The rest, well, that's a hard question to answer. It's so many feelings all bundled up and sometimes it's all good, but there are some hard times in there that most don't see. I grew up with it a little bit, Trey got hired on with the Sheriff's department when I was about 14-15 years old and I remember learning about all the bad things that could happen but it's what he wanted to do and we all supported him as a family. It was difficult at times, he'd come home bruised from training and I remember being terrified that something bad would happen to him but I knew he knew what he was doing and eventually I got over that fear. Being a wife is a little bit different. It's hard, hard in the sense that I have to watch Jason walk out that door each night and know that something could happen while I sleep at home, I know it's hard on him too, to have to leave me and Hudson at home each night. It's hard to find the family time in between work schedules but we make do. Sometimes the only "us" time we can get is him coming home and simply drinking a glass of tea - granted it may be at 9:00pm at night but it's still some time that we get to spend for just us.  Being an officer's wife is rewarding too; to see just how good of a job he does in everything that he does. To see him raise over $7,000 for Special Olympics, to see him get an award for his service to the community, to see a celebrity recognize him from when she was a kid (Raini Rodriguez was a Camp P.A.L. kid), to know that he won't rest until everything is done and to see all his hard work pay off and get pinned as a sergeant. I see all of this and know that he is the man that our son will look up to as he grows up and that is the most rewarding thing that I can feel as his wife. We are part of a family, a family like no other - a band of brothers (and sisters too) that has a bond that many don't get to experience. So what's it like to be married to a cop - an experience. One that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

I think Paul Harvey said it best in the following, we heard this once from a speaker at the law enforcement memorial and then again and one of the BPOA banquets (from the same speaker):
What are Cops made of?

Don't credit me with this mongrel prose; it has many parents; at least 420,000 of them: Police Officers. A police officer is a composite of what all men are, a mingling of saint and sinner, dust and deity. Culled statistics wave the fan over the stinkers, underscore instances of dishonestly and brutality because they are "news." What that really means is that they are exceptional, unusual, not commonplace. Buried under the froth is the fact: Less than one-half of 1 percent of officers misfit that uniform. That's a better average than you'd find among clergymen.

What is a officer made of? He, of all men, is at once the most needed and the most unwanted. He's a strangely nameless creature who is "sir" to his face and "pig" behind his back. He must be such a diplomat that he can settle differences between individuals so that each will think he won.

But.....

If the policeman is neat, he's conceited; if he's careless, he's a bum. If he's pleasant, he's a flirt; if he's not, he's a grouch. He must make in an instant decisions which would require months for a lawyer.

But.....

If he hurries, he's careless; if he's deliberate, he's lazy. He must be first to an accident and infallible with a diagnosis. He must be able to start breathing, stop bleeding, tie splints and, about all, be sure the victim goes home without a limp. Or expect to be sued.

The police officer must know every gun, draw on the run, and hit where it doesn't hurt. He must be able to whip two men twice his size and half his age without damaging his uniform and without being "brutal."

If you hit him, he's a coward, if he hits you, he's a bully. A police officer must know everything -- and not tell. He must know where all the sin is -- and not partake. The policeman must, from a single human hair, be able to describe the crime, the weapon and the criminal -- and tell you where the criminal is hiding.

But.....

If he catches the criminal, he's lucky; if he doesn't, he's a dunce. If he gets promoted, he has political pull; if he doesn't, he's a dullard. The policeman must chase bum leads to a dead end, stake out 10 nights to tag one witness who saw it happen -- but refuses to remember. He runs files and writes reports until his eyes ache to build a case against some felon who'll get dealed out by a shameless shamus or an "honorable" who isn't.

The police officer must be a minister, a social worker, a diplomat, a tough guy, and a gentleman.

And of course he'll have to be a genius...for he'll have to do it on a policeman's salary.

These are two of the bravest men I know, they keep bad guys off the streets, and make this world that we live in a little bit safer

This is us with Marc Klaas, he lost his daughter in the 90s and told her story at the Legacy Dinner - I must say that it was quite an honor to be in the same room with this man and hear his story and see just how strong he is after all that he has endured and how willing he is to give back and help others

I am glad this week is over, but I must say that it was by far the best conference yet! The purpose of the conference is to educate. Educate so that every victim is taken care of each and every time. I take pride in the work that our conference committee does, and even though by the end of the two days we are so tired and can barely function, I know that we look forward to planning for next year's conference.